Chapter 10: About Japan
373: Anonymous Combatant
Ah, this time Lurun was really active, huh.
374: Anonymous Combatant
A bank robbery is standard for an evil organization struggling with funds, but they were admirably thwarted by Lost Fairies.
But the holy spirit girl Lurun is truly a beautiful young lady.
375: Anonymous Combatant
Lurun’s innocent smile fluttering in the wind like flower petals.
Lost Fairies image compilations will be lively again.
376: Anonymous Combatant
My personal highlight this time was Eres chan getting knocked on her butt after being pressured by that weird guy’s attack.
By the way, aren’t the evil soldiers getting stronger?
377: Hakase
Oh yeah, after the giant incident, I established a simplified method for forging soul sublimation.
The current evil soldiers have the same price tag but 20% more output power.
Though of course they still can’t keep up with Lost Fairies at all.
378: Anonymous Combatant
What’s impressive is the unchanged price tag part.
You really are a genius despite being an idiot, Hakase.
379: Anonymous Combatant
Honestly, I want a technician like you. Why don’t you quit that evil organization and join my company?
Though we’re also kind of a black company!
380: Hakase
What made you think I’d accept an invitation like that?
381: Anonymous Combatant
Everywhere is a bit of a black company these days with the recession.
382: Anonymous Combatant
Yeah, my place too…too much unpaid overtime and low salaries.
383: Anonymous Combatant
Come to think of it, Delnkeim seems to be struggling financially, but you don’t seem to be economizing at all, Hakase.
384: Hakase
I make sure salaries and benefits are properly taken care of. Mainly me.
385: Anonymous Combatant
Evil organizations pay salaries…?
386: Anonymous Combatant
Now that you mention it, Hakase, aren’t you basically running Delnkeim?
387: Anonymous Combatant
But they keep failing to invade Japan, so what’s their funding source?
388: Hakase
That’s thanks to Big Bro’s and my efforts.
Back when Big Bro was a chief executive, he was the organization’s strongest man but also very cautious.
- The previous boss’s method of mainly relying on plunder would hit a ceiling eventually.
- We should establish a way to continuously obtain funds without invading.
Let’s put ourselves in a position where we can recover even if we take losses – that was Big Bro’s thinking.
The previous boss and the muscle-heads who rose through fighting didn’t quite understand.
But I agreed with Big Bro, and have been offering up some of my inventions.
Lending technology to other organizations is an important funding source.
389: Anonymous Combatant
Big Bro is capable too.
390: Anonymous Combatant
But whether that’s proper for an evil organization is debatable.
If they can do that, what’s even the point of invading?
391: Hakase
Even so, if there’s something we want, we’ll trample others to get it.
That’s why we’re an evil organization – a gathering of those kinds of people.
392: Anonymous Combatant
It feels weird seeing Hakase being so serious.
393: Anonymous Combatant
Yeah, he doesn’t seem like the Hakase without being a doofus.
394: Anonymous Combatant
Well, as long as we’re here, whether students, workers, NEETs or evil scientists, we’re all equal nyanJ users. No need to sweat the small stuff, let’s just waste time pointlessly.
395: Hakase
Thanks, I appreciate you all being so laidback.
396: Anonymous Combatant
Since we’re getting gloomy, let me change the subject.
Hakase, You guys like came from another dimension, right? How can you post on nyanJ?
If it was just conversation, some translation magic would explain it. But this…?
397: Anonymous Combatant
Yeah, their understanding of Japanese culture is impressive too. Like that “unchanged price tag” line.
398: Anonymous Combatant
Cat-ear girl can make takoyaki, and the leader is an anime otaku.
Big Bro even opened up a shop, didn’t he?
399: Hakase
Alright, enough gloominess, let’s go back to our usual selves!
As for your question, Big Bro and I obtained fake family registries.
So in my case, in addition to being an evil scientist, I’m also the Japanese Hakase-san with legal documents.
I have a legitimate smartphone contract and everything.
400: Anonymous Combatant
Getting fake family registries is illegal in the first place though…
401: Anonymous Combatant
We knew it, but you’re so casually admitting to crimes…
402: Hakase
Our understanding of Japanese culture comes from effort.
Three years ago when the leader took over, Japan was the first target for invasion. Big Bro advised we should prepare thoroughly.
In addition to securing personnel, he said the executives should deepen their understanding of Japan. That included learning Japanese.
403: Hakase
By the way, here are our executive abilities:
[Strength] Big Bro > Gorilla > Cat-ears > Sexy > Me
[Intelligence] Me > Sexy > Big Bro > Cat-ears > Gorilla
[Drinking Capacity] Everyone except Cat-ears and Big Bro is bad
I was one of the first to learn Japanese, so I became Gorilla’s personal tutor.
And we all studied Japan quite enthusiastically.
…Little did we know it would lead to such misfortune.
404: Anonymous Combatant
Big Bro has high specs, huh.
405: Anonymous Combatant
Hakase is really extreme. What’s with the “drinking capacity” part?
406: Anonymous Combatant
What’s with that ominous wording?
407: Hakase
Even if it was preparation for invasion, you get attached to a cultural aspect or two when exposed to a new culture.
For example, Big Bro took a liking to confectionery, cooking, and old-fashioned cafes.
Sexy got into beaded accessories and knitting.
Gorilla, that muscle-brain, got hooked on pro-wrestling of all things.
Even little Cat-ears back then would ask me to read her picture books.
408: Anonymous Combatant
So that’s why the leader likes anime.
409: Anonymous Combatant
Didn’t the leader’s anime fandom and Hakase’s cup ramen obsession start after coming to Japan?
410: Hakase
Yeah, after coming to Japan.
I got hooked on instant noodles after work got busier and I had more opportunities to eat them.
Japan is really blessed with food. Pretty much everything tastes good, and there’s a wide variety of alcohol too.
That’s when Gorilla proposed,
“Since alcohol is part of the culture too, why don’t we do some taste testing?”
We were interested too, honestly.
So the executives, excluding the underage Cat-ears, held a [Let’s Learn About Japan Executive Banquet!].
411: Anonymous Combatant
These guys are really enjoying themselves, huh?
412: Hakase
With so many unfamiliar alcohols and delicious snacks, we were hugely fired up.
Me: “Phah! This beer is tasty!”
Big Bro: “Sake. Made from rice? A spirit made from that plant suits my tastes.”
Gori: “Kaah! I like this shochu made from potatoes!”
Sexy: “Oh, fruit wines. Yes, this goes down smoothly.”
Our dimension has alcohol too, but compared to that, Japanese drinks were like local brews from a travel destination.
And of course, the higher our spirits, the more we drank too.
413: Anonymous Combatant
Their drinking capacity…
414: Anonymous Combatant
Wait, Sexy’s character is different than I imagined.
415: Hakase
When Sexy was an executive, she wore a revealing, rubbery, queenly black outfit, but her personality is that of a relaxed, gentle beauty.
Making handmade magic accessories like rings and earrings is her hobby.
She also seems to have a huge crush on Big Bro. She’s a regular at the cafe.
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT LOCALIZERMEERKAT.PAGES.DEV
416: Anonymous Combatant
Seriously…? Big Bro!
417: Anonymous Combatant
Here we have a love triangle situation emerging, including Soldier Girl A-chan.
418: Anonymous Combatant
That side story sounds interesting too.
419: Hakase
The drinking party heats up further.
Big Bro: “Whiskey is good too.”
Sexy: “Yes, here you go Big Bro~”
Big Bro: “Sorry about that, Sexy. A drink for you too then.”
Gori: “Hakase, try these fried snacks. They’re crazy good.”
Me: “Delicious, really helps the drinks go down.”
The empty bottles and cans kept piling up. That’s right, we should have realized then.
That mixing all those drinks would lead to terrible hangovers.
420: Hakase
We drank way too much. But drinking together was so fun we couldn’t stop.
From there, we drank even more until we were completely sloshed and drooling messes.
Gori: “Oh, you’re drinking hard, Hakase.”
Me: “Yeah, might have overdid it a little.”
Sexy: “In that case, have one of these~ It’s just a canned chu-hi so it should be fine.”
Thinking back, canned chu-his do contain alcohol, don’t they?
We were so drunk we couldn’t protest and just accepted and drank them.
And you know how drinking makes your body feel hot and flushed?
I was getting overheated too and started wondering if there was a way to cool myself down.
That’s when I spotted them.
The mint tablets carelessly left out in the room…
421: Anonymous Combatant
Oh boy…
422: Anonymous Combatant
Hey, Hakase, don’t tell me you’re gonna…
423: Hakase
These things, the moment you pop one in your mouth, unleash an intense mintiness.
A single mint tablet can provide an invigorating, cooling sensation – my favorite for battling brain fog while working.
Cooling sensation…coldness…relieve the flushing?
To be clear, I would never normally consider this.
But I was completely shit-faced, my brain not working rationally at all. The black and green case somehow seemed like a brilliant idea.
And so, I reached my hand toward the mint tablets and…
424: Hakase
——- and Promptly inserted one into my asshole.
425: Anonymous Combatant
Why the hell would you do that???
426: Anonymous Combatant
Are you fucking stupid?
427: Anonymous Combatant
That’s terrible!
428: Hakase
In my defense, I was incredibly wasted, you know?
I honestly have no idea what I was thinking. Alcohol is scary stuff.
But at the time, it seemed like the perfect solution to me. And it did provide a cooling sensation.
………..?!?!?!?!?!?!
Me: “Fwaaaaaaahh!? My ass!? My ass is tingling!? oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo”
Big Bro: “What are you doing, Hakase?!”
At first it felt nice, but past a certain point the intensity was overwhelming.
Me: “Haaaaaaahh!?” (Rolls around on the floor)
Gori: “What’s going on?”
Sexy: “Doing an inchworm impression~? Ufufu, having fun aren’t we?”
Except for Big Bro, everyone else was as wasted as me and didn’t grasp the abnormal situation.
429: Anonymous Combatant
These guys are just…wow.
430: Anonymous Combatant
And they’re supposed to be the executives?
431: Hakase
However, it seems Gori the muscle-head witnessed the whole thing.
Gori: “Heh, Hakase. You really are an idiot, you know that? Listen, if you’re drunk and want to cool off, you should actually be heating yourself up.”
I had no idea what he was talking about. Gori was also completely sloshed.
Apparently he had some idea about fighting fire with fire.
Gori grabbed a bottle of pizza tobasco sauce (economy size) and a tube of wasabi, and…proceeded to chug them down.
Gori: “Gwaaaahh!? My throat is burning!? My eyes, nose, skin, everything stings!?”
Big Bro: “Why the hell did you think that would work?!”
He went overboard and got it all over his lower body too.
And then he started rolling around on the floor like a giant baby having a tantrum. The sight of a grown man writhing around was a total disaster.
432: Anonymous Combatant
What an idiot! A complete and utter idiot!
433: Anonymous Combatant
Lmfaooo
434: Hakase
Me: “Fwaaahhh!?” (Rolling on floor)
Gori: “Guwooohhh!?” (Rolling on floor)
We were both wallowing in agony. But the chaos wasn’t over yet.
Me: “Huh? What’s this…I feel chills…really bad chills…”
Gori: “It hurts, it stings. Maybe if I lather on some honey it’ll help?”
Sexy: ‘Come on, you two shouldn’t do that! Even if it’s hot, you need to stop at just removing outer clothes,'”
While appearing to be scolding us, Sexy was also drunk.
She then removed her clothes without any hesitation. Including undergarments. In other words, completely undressed.
435: Anonymous Combatant
Holy shit…!
436: Anonymous Combatant
Go into more detail on that part.
437: Hakase
Sexy: “Come on Big Bro, let’s have another drink~?”
Big Bro: “I can’t just calmly accept a drink from you in that state!”
The one suffering the most was the still somewhat conscious Big Bro.
I mean, getting undressed to pour drinks is definitely not culturally appropriate behavior. It would make anyone uncomfortable.
She must have reached her limit quick.
Sexy: “Ah, I can’t…zzz”
Like a puppet with its strings cut, Sexy collapsed onto the floor, fast asleep.
Meanwhile, Gori and I were still rolling around.
Big Bro: “You’ve gotta be kidding me…I have to clean up this whole mess?”
Two groaning, writhing men. A trashed room from our flailing. And a peacefully sleeping undressed girl.
As Big Bro muttered in despair, my consciousness faded.
438: Anonymous Combatant
Big Bro really is the long-suffering one, damn.
439: Anonymous Combatant
Big Bro…I feel for you man (tears).
440: Anonymous Combatant
Don’t try to make it sound profound at the end.
441: Hakase
From drinking too much, I ended up with an upset stomach after the party.
I got so wasted I blacked out and did all sorts of nonsensical things. It was pretty embarrassing in hindsight.
But you know, sometimes I think…
When I pause on the journey and glance back with nostalgia,
The memories I’ll reminisce about are the silly times we acted like idiots together…
442: Anonymous Combatant
You can try to sound profound all you want, but the anal mint tablet will always be a dark stain on your history.
443: Anonymous Combatant
Your upset stomach was definitely from the mint tablet, not just drinking too much.
444: Anonymous Combatant
Coming from a supposed handsome silver-haired guy, this is just misleading.
445: Hakase
Well, I guess you could say we also learned something about Japanese culture that night.
If you have any other questions, I’m happy to answer them.
Just label it as a question for Hakase and feel free to ask away.
446: Anonymous Combatant
Trying to act all famous now, are we?
447: Anonymous Combatant
Hakase, you’ve got the abilities but your lack of common sense is worrying.
448: Anonymous Combatant
But I’d rather have this side of you than being boringly serious, Hakase.
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