“Preposterous. That information is completely useless. There’s no way such an assassin exists.”
“Don’t blame me! That’s just what little information could be gathered!”
“So even with the royal family’s intelligence network, the assassin’s true identity remains elusive…”
Or rather, Toko thought, what competent assassin would leave characteristics to identify them?
The reason they’re elite is because they don’t let their identity slip.
The duke probably didn’t expect to actually learn anything useful.
More importantly, preventing the assassination itself is the critical issue.
“So? What do you intend to do?”
“It’s Suzuha-nii, so I want to believe he’ll handle it somehow. About all we can do is pass the information to Suzuha-nii, Yuzuriha, and the Amazonesses…”
“I’m concerned about an overreaction.”
“Yeah, that’s the worry. While Yuzuriha might be okay, if the Amazonesses find out, they’ll probably take Suzuha-nii to protect him and just force him to immediately become their king”
“Then we’ll just inform him directly.”
“Yeah, that’s probably best. …It’s frustrating that’s the extent I can do for the person who saved my life, but…”
“Don’t fret. The chance to return the favor will definitely come. For now, have faith.”
“Yeah…”
As Toko sipped the prepared wine to calm herself,
the duke offhandedly advised:
“…This is not from a duke, but advice from one man to another.”
“What is it?”
“If you wish to offer your first time, sooner is better.”
“Buh-!?”
“You’re the queen now. Don’t be so unsightly as to spit it out.”
“And, and, and, and what are you saying all of a sudden? “
If a man gains enough renown to draw attention not just from his own country but from others as well, who knows what could happen. —Didn’t you once say you regretted being a virgin when you were nearly killed by the prime minister during the coup?
“Well, if I had played around more, maybe I wouldn’t have had to struggle so much!”
“I knew it from when you were a child. You’re not that type.”
“Wha- wha- wha-“
“You lamented not being able to give your cherished love to the man you liked. No matter how you tried to rationalize it.”
“D-d-d-don’t say such stupid things!!”
Toko denied it, likely turning redder than she ever had in her entire life up until that point.
She realized that herself.
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5
The night I met the maid Kanade, I lay awake in bed, contemplating over and over.
I couldn’t sleep.
In the inn’s bed, I kept agonizing over what to do next.
“Hmm…”
If I thought about it normally, the plan Lady Yuzuriha suggested was probably best.
Lady Yuzuriha could scatter tens of thousands of soldiers with ease.
That was simply a fact.
Lady Yuzuriha was a monstrous fighter even one-on-one, but her true strength shone through against multiple foes. After all, she was known across the continent as the Killing Goddess, feared by enemy nations like the grim reaper herself.
I had witnessed firstly Lady Yuzuriha relentlessly defeat mutant ogres in the Great Ogre Forest for three straight days and nights.
There’s no way the enemy soldiers occupying the city could be stronger than a horde of those mutant ogres.
And considering our forces, striking directly at the enemy headquarters would be best.
If we fought normally, the enemy would likely hole up in the castle out of fear of Lady Yuzuriha, leading to a siege. It’s easy to predict that would only exacerbate the harm to civilians.
But still…
“Even if we strike the headquarters directly, civilian casualties would be unavoidable…”
I understand in my head that war can’t be conducted neatly and cleanly.
But I still can’t help wanting to minimize harm to ordinary citizens as much as possible.
I suppose it’s because my heart remains that of a commoner at its core.
I may have been made a nobleman recently for some reason, but I’ll never change being commoner-born.
“Hm…?”
As I lay with my eyes closed in bed contemplating, I sensed a presence overhead in the ceiling.
What could it be?
Pretending to sleep, I cracked my eyes open slightly to check it out.
Eventually, a ceiling panel slid open soundlessly and someone slipped into the room.
Who could it be?
If it was an assassin targeting Lady Yuzuriha who got the wrong room, then—
“…Sleeping soundly.”
Standing beside my bed in a maid outfit was Kanade.
I had no idea why Kanade had infiltrated from the ceiling.
As I continued feigning sleep wondering what she intended,
Kanade unexpectedly began stripping off her maid uniform.
“…Need to be careful with the buttons…don’t want to pop them off with these tits and wake the master…”
Murmuring just loudly enough for me to make out, Kanade carefully undid the buttons of her blouse, releasing her excessively developed loli breasts to swing free.
Kanade then undid the buttons of her skirt, letting it fall to the floor—
“Hey Kanade!? What in the world are you doing!?”
“…Ah. You’re awake.”
“Of course I’m awake! I thought you’d snuck into my room from the ceiling, but then you just started stripping out of nowhere! What’s going on!?”
“…Umm…a night activities?”
“I never asked for a night activities or anything!”
“That’s not true. It’s a noble custom for an ecchi silver-haired twin-tailed loli big-breasted beautiful maid to join her master’s bed…Just to be clear, I absolutely wasn’t trying to assassinate you by smothering you with my valley.”
“Why even say that part! Now you seem really suspicious!”
“It’s an important detail, so I said it twice.”
Having been a commoner my whole life until recently, the customs of noble society are completely baffling.
Not to mention her infiltration method raised all sorts of other questions.
“More importantly, why not just come in through the door like a normal person!?”
“…That door has been rigged. It’s difficult to enter and exit without Suzuha or Lady Yuzuriha noticing.”
“Eh, really?”
“Really.”
I hadn’t realized.
Unbeknownst to me, either Suzuha or Lady Yuzuriha had been looking out for my safety. I need to thank them.
“But still, you didn’t have to come from the ceiling—”
“…Of course I did. I’m a maid, and what do maids do? Clean.”
“Huh?”
Now that he mentions it, they do sometimes refer to assassinations as “cleaning house” in a sense. Not really relevant though.
“And when it comes to cleaning, that means the ceiling too. So I’m intimately familiar with ceilings.”
“Really!?”
“Of course. Not just at this inn, but the ceilings of any manor or residence. I could traverse the rafters of any estate, no problem.”
“Wow, amazing maid skills!”
“Ufufu.”
Despite her blank expression, Kanade puffed out her nose proudly once again.
This girl may not show it outwardly, but she’s quite expressive, isn’t she?
“—Hey Kanade, wait a sec.”
“What?”
“You said the ceilings of any manor?”
“Yeah.”
“Really, any manor at all?”
“…Don’t underestimate my maid intelligence network. Give me some time, and I could survey the ceilings of any estate.”
“I can believe that, considering all the city intel you brought earlier.”
—If that’s true, then…
I can see a path forward now.
How to retake the cities occupied by enemy forces with minimal civilian harm.
And the key lies in the hands of the maid Kanade.
＊
The next morning after breakfast,
I revealed to everyone the strategy I had spent the night devising.
“—What’s this about raiding the bedrooms of the city commanders to capture them?”
“What do you mean, brother?”
It was only natural for the two of them to look perplexed, so I explained it step-by-step.
“I happened to learn from talking to Kanade that she can get intel on the ceilings of any manor. So I thought we could take advantage of that.”
“But brother, how could a mere maid possess such an outrageous skill…?”
“Indeed. Such information would normally only be available to the ace of a nation’s top assassin guild, would it not…?”
Suzuha seemed doubtful, and even Lady Yuzuriha furrowed her brow skeptically.
I suppose that speaks to just how capable our maid Kanade is,
if even Lady Yuzuriha, well-versed in the elite maids of the Sakuragi duchy, is only half-convinced.
“…Nevertheless, if what you say is true, then your proposed strategy may be optimal.”
“I agree. Ordinarily infiltrating multiple manors’ ceilings consecutively would be downright impossible, even with ceiling data. But for you, brother—”
“Who snuck into the royal castle through the sewers to rescue the imprisoned princess Toko. Compared to that, something as simple as repeatedly abducting city commanders would be child’s play.”
“Exactly. And if you happened to be spotted, brother, you could just beat everyone who saw you to a pulp.”
“I’m not going to do that!”
Their responses gave me pause, but
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